Oh. My. God.

Anyone who really knows me knows these things about me:

(1) I am totally phobic about food storage and food preparation. I am convinced that everything will give me food poisoning.

(2) I love to bake.

(3) I'm a stickler for punctuation.

(4) I know way too much about desert tortoises and will tell you about them until you are sorry that you asked.

This post only concerns the first two bulletpoints, though.

My cousin Amy recently blogged about this charming episode.

It should be noted that the original poster, when determining that perhaps this cake mix was "only sold in the U.S.", neglected to notice that the box has "flavor" spelled with a "u" and that the weight on the box is listed in grams, not ounces. Thus... it's pr'y not American.

Note also that I didn't change the original poster's interesting punctuation and spelling choices. Okay, fine... I changed one misspelled word. I couldn't help myself!

I can only hope that this is a totally fake story.

Anyway.... enjoy! Try not to throw up in your mouth!


Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Too Good NOT to post!

A nice post from a blog that my friend Brian (Heather's Husband), found on a website.
Good God. Have you ever done something you thought was ‘normal’, and then found out about how bad it was later? Much to your horror?

Meet the 17 Year Old Cake.



Gather around my children and I shall tell you a tale.

My friend had received a cake mix in a food donation box she was given around Christmas or so. Many destitute people in our area receive them, and think nothing of them. The odd time, you’ll find an expired/near-expired food item, but it’s nothing to be concerned about.

One day, while in a raging-afternoon hunger, we decided to make said pudding cake to quell said hunger.

Preparation was the same as any pudding cake, as were the ingredients. After a brief wait, the cake had cooled and was ready to be eaten. I walked up to it and commented on how it smelled of cherry Jell-O. I suppse this shoudln’t have been a surprise, as the ’sauce’ that is sprinkled on it while baking was reminiscent texture-wise of Cherry Jell-O powder.

We each dug out a bowlful, and began to chow down. I don’t think I managed more than three bites, and my friend managed even less. We thought it was just awful.

“It tastes like cough syrup.”
“This is nasty.”
“At least my cold went away.”
We disposed of the nastiness that was Robin Hood Cherry Pudding Cake, and then it hit me.
“Grace?”
“Mmnn?”
“Why have I never seen this cake in the stores?”
“Beats me. I checked the box. There’s no expiry date.”

It was true. After scanning the box several thorough times, there was nothing. Not even a lot number. I was now officially paranoid. I decided to do some research on the internet for this cake. Perhaps they only sold it in the US?

No luck. There wasn’t even a mention of this cake anywhere online. Not on the Robin Hood site, nor Wiki, nor Google. (I e-mailed Robin Hood to inquire about the cake, but to this day, I’ve never received a response.)

The only real identifying mark on the box, was the company address. I decided to do a Google search on that. Much to my dismay, I discovered something shocking. The last time that company worked from that address, was in 1989.

1989.
The cake was from 1989. At LEAST. That was the LAST the company was at that address. So the cake was at least 17 years old.

Blech.

I can honestly say, that was one hell of a cake. I suppose it wasn’t BAD for 17 year old cake mix. But good god. Who donated that thinking of how old it was? Perhaps it was donated after some old broad died and they cleared out her cupboards.
-shudders- If you ever come upon something questionable, do us all a favor and throw it out. Please don’t donate it.
-wince-