That's why they're stagnating in the job market

Colin: Squirrels can't learn Spanish, Mommy.

Me: They can't?

Colin: No, because they not watch TV.

Astute observations from a three year old

Colin: Puppies don't read books, Mommy.

Me: They don't?

Colin: No. Because I know, because they not learn.
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Me: Look, Colin, a bug! What is it - a moth? A little cricket?

Colin: (getting down to the bug's level) Are you a cricket? (silence) No, Mommy, he not a cricket.

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Hubby: (to me) Do you sign "milk" to Hayden?

Colin: No, Daddy, Hayden not drink milk. She drink formyuhyuh.