Colin blinding me with language

Um... what?

Colin: Mommy, Baby Hayden so smart. And she so pretty. She almost too young, but she smile at me.

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Oh well, I didn't want to discuss mochacide with a three-year-old anyway...

Colin (looking at the ceiling): Mommy, someone throw coffee beans up there!

Me (seeing brown splatters on the high ceiling): Either that or somebody's mocha exploded.

Colin: No, they want to recycle their beans.

Note: we always discuss about how - amazingly - Peet's Coffee doesn't have recycling receptacles. Perhaps he imagined an adult having some kind of fit...

Toddler talk RULES!

Two days ago, Colin and I had this conversation (with my name listed as "someonesmom" here for blogging purposes) as we were doing an alphabet puzzle:

Me: What's Mommy's name?

Colin: Someonesmom.

Me: That's right! What letter does "someonesmom" start with?

Colin: S!

Me: Good! What's Daddy's name?

Colin: Honey.

----------------------------

Tonight, as the sun was going down and we were in the gloaming:

Colin: No more sunshine. My eyes open, but I can't see.

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Tonight, as we listened to Colin's new MP3 player for kids (which you can load with whatever music you want!) and the digital DJ announced the song's title:

Colin: I love "Charm Attack".

Me (as song begins to play): This song *is* "Charm Attack".

Colin: No, this song "Colin little".

Quoth Beyonce: Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, OH NO NO

So now I've gotta be careful as to which songs I sing as I go about my daily chores.

This morning, while eating breakfast, Colin started singing (as he often does). But this time, he sang this ditty:

"Bum, bum bum, she freak in da nose..."

Which roughly translates as "Bum, buhda bum, bum, BUM bum - she's freaky and she knows it..." - a.k.a. Justin Timberlake's "LoveStoned".

I can't help it! It's catchy! It got the theme song for "Johnny and the Sprites" out of my head!

But everyone knows that Colin's favorite JT song is "Rock Your Body", anyway.

Can you smell what the mom is cooking?

Colin (completely seriously, while eating my Chicken Tortilla Soup): Mommy, I like soup. I eat soup, I get taller. Now I almost 22.

Oversmurfed at the park

This is just what I want to hear while walking with my kids. (Actually, I had to hide my little fit of laughter as we walked by.)

Four boys, aged approximately thirteen years old, had abandoned their bike to play on the swings.

Boy #1 (smirkily): So, Adam, have you had your... first experience?

Boy #2 (confused): First experience with what?

Boy #3: Yeah - with a Smurf doll!

Adam: That's right - my first experience was with a Smurf doll, some honey, and a roll of toilet paper!

...

Boy, am I glad I didn't know my husband at thirteen!

Ouch!

So this video is almost a year old, but it's SOOOO cute. And the number of spoofs it's unleashed is unreal. Kids being kids!

Overheard at the Park

Mom, picking up plastic and rubber balls in the sandbox, to another mom:

"My son's the one who keeps grabbing your son's balls."

That's French for "biting off more than you can chew"

Colin prepares for National Library Week (April 13-19) with some light reading.

Maybe I should just call him "Poops"

When Colin was a baby - besides calling him "Mijo" - I would call him "Poops". Because that's what he did. A lot.

Matt told me, "Call him 'Mijo' - but please don't call him 'Poops'! He can't go to high school with that as his nickname!"

So Colin, Hayden and I were at the park on Friday. He's in the sandbox, and I see him put something in his mouth. I shout, "Colin! Colin! Don't put that in your mouth! Take it out!" (He does.) "Don't put stuff in your mouth, Colin!" (He then sticks his tongue out to lick the item - hey, he was following directions, right?) "Colin! That doesn't mean lick it! Out!"

This little boy - between three and four years old - starts bawling suddenly. He gets up, clutching his ice cream, cries and cries while looking at me and barreling toward his mother. His mother looks at me and says, "His name is Colin also."

Poor kid thought this strange lady was yelling at HIM, telling HIM to take his ice cream out of his mouth.

What ever happened to making eye contact?

In any case... for "Colin" not being an incredibly popular name, that was quite a coincidence. And kinda funny.

I mean sad. Right? (WINK!)

Still rolling along

Miss Hayden has started social smiling as of last week (four weeks old). She's also going 4-6 hours between bottles at night (hurrah!) as of 2.5 weeks.

What a change from last time! (Don't tell Colin I said that.)

Colin is feeling better after his bout of brochiolitis; I am dying to get back to dance class; and we're rooting like crazy for this guy on "American Idol".

I'm also trying to figure out how to work a minimal amount of hours starting April 1.

Am I starting to enjoy this stay-at-home-mom-thing a little too much?


Let's just say that raising kids is WAY harder than working (well, most jobs, I suppose). But being at work, while rewarding - and a nice break! - isn't as great as seeing these lovely faces and interacting with them.

Speaking of interacting, the other day Colin and I were playing with trains (my new addiction!). I said to Hayden, "What is your big brother going to do with that curved track?" Colin looked at me seriously and said, "Hayden not to talk, Mommy."

Duh, Mom! She's only a month old!

Does this look like a kid with Giardia?

Just checking. Because the test results from 1/2/08 indicate that he has Giardia! He's one of those rare individuals who shows NO signs, NO symptoms, yet has it.

Thank goodness I persuaded his pediatrician to order a lab test... for a kid with no symptoms.

So what happened?

Back in October, there was a sign on the door of his daycare class indicating that a child in the class had Giardia. When I asked a teacher about it, she said that the child had been having diarrhea, but the parents kept bringing him to daycare anyway (!!!). They kept calling the parents to take him home, saying, "You can't bring your child if they have diarrhea!" Finally, they said, "This is not clearing up - you should get him tested." The parents relented at last... and found out he had Giardia.

A couple weeks went by, and two more cases popped up.

Then November was silent.

In December, another notice went up. Turns out EIGHT more children had Giardia. EIGHT. A letter went out to parents just before the Christmas break, stating that if your child is tested and comes back "negative", they'd be put in a different room, with all of the "negative" kids. They had come in on a weekend and bleached down the entire room. They had called the Dept. of Health, which had sent reps in to give an additional workshop on precautions with diaper changes.

So, just to be helpful, I thought Colin should be tested. Then, once he came back "negative", he could go into the "negative" class after Christmas break.

The day after Christmas, with the scent of pine in the air, and some still-unwrapped presents under the tree, I scooped poo into vials.

Then we waited.

The pediatrician's office called the day after New Year's... with a bit of shock in the voice... Colin was positive for Giardia!

Talk about a stunner. How long had he had it? How many other kids in that class could be positive, little ticking time-bombs of Giardia poo, without knowing it?

So then I needed to call my doctor and persuade them to sign a lab sheet, even though I had no symptoms. And my husband had to do the same. Both offices hesitated greatly until we mentioned Colin's asymptomatic "positive". (And the fact that I was just days/weeks from having a baby.)

We're still waiting for our lab results.

In the meantime, Colin can't go to daycare on his usual days. Which, of course, are the days I'm supposed to be going to obstetrical appointments, taking extra naps, and running errands that I won't be able to do once the baby comes (not immediately, at least). The poor kid is not getting enough exercise, between me being so pregnant and having all of these sciatic/back issues, not being able to take him to gym class (because of my same issues), not going to school, and the rainstorms that prevent trike-riding and park time.

We've had three calls from the Dept. of Health. Luckily, all of the people I've spoken with ARE SO FRIENDLY AND PERSONABLE AND PROFESSIONAL. One nurse is going to bring the next two sets of vials for poo sampling to the house, so I only have to deal with drop-offs (because of my impending labor and delivery). My favorite part, though, was when the nurse was doing a questionnaire with me over the phone to determine where Colin might have swallowed water from a stream or eaten dirt. I said, "I know where he got Giardia. He got it at daycare when a kid had it back in October and his parents kept bringing him to school. There's a big outbreak there now that they can't get under control."

So Colin needs to take medicine for 10 days, three times per day. The first two days were fine, then he decided that he hated the medicine. (It's very bitter, even when mixed into a cherry base syrup.) I started mixing it into chocolate syrup, which is an incredibly rare treat for him. That worked for another two days, but was messy and difficult to administer. Then I hit on it: squirt the medicine in his mouth, tell him to "swallow quickly!", then squirt whipped cream into his mouth. Well, that's been a HUGE hit. It's worked like a charm. I don't know how I came up with that one; I have never had whipped cream squirted into my own mouth! But I'm glad I did. I'm like freakin' Mary Poppins over here now, with my spoonful of.... whipped cream.

It's just been rough in that Colin is having to take medicine, even though he doesn't feel sick; he can't go to school, and doesn't understand why; we have to bleach down all of his toys (the nurse's suggestion from today), which sent him into a tizzy because he thought we were putting away all of his toys in the garage so he'd never see them again; and, of course, I'm pregnant and supposed to be taking it easy.

BTW, if I come back "positive", the doctor said she wouldn't treat me unless I became symptomatic. She'd treat me after the baby was born. (And, of course, I'd need to tell Labor and Delivery that I had Giardia so they could make accommodations for that when I delivered.) In addition, if I started on medication, I'd have to pump-and-dump milk, as the medicine is not compatible with nursing.

SOOOOOOOOOO.... needless to say, our household has been turned upside down in the weeks when we really need it least. But we need to make sure our home becomes Giardia-free before the baby comes, as it can be a real danger to infants (dehydration, failure to thrive, hospitalization, etc.).

As my husband says: "Damn daycare!"

What I'm listening to: Matt watching "Nova" without me. Stop!
I just: Started watching "Nova" without him, then paused it. ;)
Now I'm gonna: Pour some orange juice and go chastize poor Matt

More cute

Today, Colin felt his baby sister moving around.

Colin: Oh, Baby Sidder, it you pay time. You move around at pay time.

BTW, this is the second time today I've found Colin on my bed, watching TV - the local weather newscast regarding the major storms pounding the area. He loves seeing those weather maps!

What I'm listening to right now: The weather report, of course!
I just: Talked to the hubby
Now I'm gonna: Well, we were going out to Target, but now it's dark outside...

Full-term and feelin' it

I'm now 36 weeks pregnant... WOW.

When I got off the elevator at the mall yesterday, this little girl (accompanied by her younger sisters and mom), saw my stomach, her eyes widened, her mouth hung opened, and she gasped, "Oh my... oh wow... wow, look at that!!!!!!!!!" Gently, her mom said, "Yes - she has a baby in her tummy, just like Mommy did!" (Good save, Mom!)

I'm the kind of woman who carries ALL FRONT. So I often get that kind of response, especially when someone has only seen me from the back and then I turn around and they say, "WHOA - look at that baby!" I've definitely seen women who end up like actress Bridget Moynahan - she could have balanced a tray of coffee on her stomach in the last month of her pregnancy. I'm not at that point, but strangely, I still have a waist!

My sciatica is still acting up, but Colin has been so sweet and generally helpful - not that he doesn't sometimes still drive me crazy. I mean, he's only two-and-a-half years old! But if I'm sitting on the sofa, using the heating pad, he'll say, "You 'kay, Mommy? You 'kay? Here, Mommy. Warm and cozy." And he tucks a blanket around me. Nice!

Colin's vocabulary has exploded over the last month. He still applies some developmentally-appropriate phonological processes in his speech, which makes understanding him a bit of a challenge on occasion. Some of my favorites:

Nehkis: music
Tafa: pasta
Keenee: zucchini
Wawa: Kira (his aunt)
Nahnah: Naiya (our neighbor)

We've been prepping him for the birth of his baby sister. He tells people, "Baby sister in Mommy tummy. Baby sister move move move, Mommy back owie hurt. Baby sister seep in kib in Caudin woom." (Did you get that last part?)

Meanwhile, I'm glad to be on maternity leave! What a relief! And I'm milking it for all it's worth, because the doctor is "hedging her bets" that the baby is coming January 15-22, instead of January 26-ish. We'll see....

On a totally, completely different note: I just saw that People put out a "Gone Too Soon" edition that celebrates the lives of performers who died young (young-ish?). They had freakin' PAULA YATES in there - who is mostly famous for the more-famous men with whom she slept (Bob Geldof, Michael Hutchence), the weird names of her children (Fifi Trixibelle, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, and so on...), and the fact that she killed herself, rather than her career as a talk show host or whatever. And yet, may I add... NO JEFF BUCKLEY? Puhleeeeeze.

What I'm listening to right now: The sound of the football game on TV in the other room
I just: Talked to our friend Ben on the phone
Now I'm gonna: Do a little online browsing! (Shopping-wise.)

I finally get The Question

So, while working with my class of five students - all aged four years, but for one (who is a very mature five-and-a-half) - I finally got The Question.

Student A: Did you have your baby yet?

Me (pointing to my stomach): Nope, it's still in there. You just can't see it as well because I'm wearing black, which is slimming.

(Female student nods approvingly - scary! I was just joking!)

Student B: How is the baby going to get out?

(Uh-oh! Think quickly!)

Me: I'm going to go to the hospital and have the doctor take it out.

Student B: Then the doctor cuts it in half?

(????)

Me: The doctor doesn't cut the baby in half!

Student B: No, your stomach.

(Another student, running late, comes up the portable ramp and distracts the children. Partial success!)


In other news, apparently, the other SLP got "in trouble" (her words) for mentioning that the Pilgrims left England because they wanted to worship God - this was in response to a student's question, mind you. I said, "Yeah, I sanitized that one down to, 'The Pilgrims wanted to live a certain way, and there were mean people being mean to them, and they felt sad, so they got on the Mayflower and came to America.'"


In non-school-related news, I was stunned by my son's admission yesterday. We were playing with his trains at the table, and suddenly, I noticed that he was kind of looking off to the side, with a smile on his place, and then he kind of chuckled. I asked, "Colin - what are you thinking about?" He looked at me and said, "About Gigi, and Grandma, come visit Colin." He was daydreaming! He was reliving his visit to Gigi (great-grandma) with Grandma from the week before (his grammar was off, but I knew of what he was speaking). I said, "Oh, yeah, you had fun! What did you do with Gigi?" He said, "Gigi and Colin eat cheese. 'Oooo, wow, cheese!' Then, we pick oranges, apples. Twist, twist, PULL! Fall down the tree. Pick up."

I can't believe it... we had a conversation. He was reliving memories for me. (And I know it's all true, because my MIL told me what they did last Wednesday!) I am reveling in this episode, because no matter how much book learning you have in your field, when you see your child doing something for the first few times, it's AMAZING.

What I'm listening to: Nothing
I just: Read Defamer
Now I'm gonna: Get Colin from daycare so we can cook dinner together

Uh, okay...

An awkward "kids (continue to) say the darndest things"...

Today, in speech class:

Four-year-old girl: May I please shut the door?
Me: Is it too loud outside?
Four-year-old girl: Yes.
Me: Okay, go ahead.
Four-year-old boy: Now the door is closed, no one can come and shoot us.

(Comment from husband: "Boy, is that a sign of the times or what?")

What I'm listening to: "Hang Me Out to Dry" - Cold War Kids
I just: Checked out how much it would cost to buy the PLS-4 because I haven't used the Battelle and I just want to get rid of it
Now I'm gonna: Go watch TiVo!

Kids say the darndest things - Thanksgiving edition

Four-year-old boy discusses Thanksgiving with me.

Me: What did the Native Americans teach the Pilgrims to do?
Student: Eat!
Me: Okay, eat, but first they taught the Pilgrims how to grow the food. What did they teach the Pilgrims to grow?
Student: Pizza!


What I'm listening to: Nothing (I'm at work)
I just: Finished working with a group
Now I'm gonna: Go see a private client

The hilarity continues...

Upon walking out of day care, after sunset.
Colin: Dark.
Me: Yeah, it's a little dark.
Colin: No, Mommy, BIIIIG dark.


A four-year-old student opens his mouth like he's going to say something, then shuts it.
Me: Brian, were you going to say something?
Student: Oh, I just forgot that you have a baby in your tummy, then I remembered.
Me: Yes, I do! Good job - you remembered.
Student: Yeah, my mom's getting fat too, but she doesn't have a baby in her tummy.
Me: Okay, I'm not going to tell your mom you said that, but thanks for sharing!


Another four-year-old student, who just saw the "Transformers" movie. If you know the theme song from the cartoon, you'll get this!
Student: C'mon trucks - let's go meet the eye!


My five-year-old student, seeing another student crying.
Student: My daddy said I could only cry if I was bleeding or dying.


What I'm listening to: The washer and dryer
I just: Swiffered the floor
Now I'm gonna: Take a nap!

Fun With Kids

Working with preschoolers can, occasionally, be fun!


While testing a student to see if he can describe others accurately:

Me: How do I look? Tell me about my clothes, my hair, stuff like that.

Little boy: Pretty!


While our group matches up "cold" things with the snowman picture and "hot" things with the sun picture:

Little boy, pointing to the snowman picture: It's cold in winter.

Little girl: Ohhhhh! I've never BEEN to winter before!


Little boy telling his mom about another little boy, who is on the autistic spectrum and usually doesn't communicate well:

Little boy: Mom! He talks! I said, "Do you want to come to circle time?" and he said, "No!"


What I'm listening to: Colin talking to me
I just: Called a store about glider rockers
Now I'm gonna: Go outside to play!

The White House and someonesmom

Here we are! Two bloggers/cousins with our boys. My family had a great time visiting Bellevue for Cousin Will's wedding. More pics forthcoming.

Right now I'm listening to: The a/c unit (that's not a new band)
I just: Finished a webinar on accent modification
Now I'm gonna: Walk over to daycare to get the little guy

So... that's... uncomfortable

Wow. So much can happen during one half-hour of speech therapy!

First, as I was walking with a student (a smart, charming boy who is quite talkative and popular) from the cafeteria to the speech room, I see the principal marching purposefully from his office. A staff member said to him, "He's standing over there by the fence." I looked over and saw a man, standing against the short chain-link fence, watching the kids playing on the field.

Yes, it could be that he's lonely. Maybe he has children or grandchildren who live far away. Maybe he lost a child. Maybe he's taking a break while walking around the neighborhood and sought the shade of the trees.

And yes, he has a right to take a walk. However...

Considering that the neighborhood has a very high rate of sex offenders - some who are not allowed to come that close to school grounds - the principal had to check it out.

Ick.

Then, as that student and I are doing speech, we come to the phrase "peach fuzz". (We're working on figurative/idiomatic language.) We talked about how, when his dad shaves, his face is smooth. The next day, a little bit of hair has grown on his face, and that is "peach fuzz", because it feels like the fuzzy skin of a peach (more or less). The conversation then progressed down a path I wasn't quite expecting.

(Scene: Speech room)

Student: Yeah, my dad has peach fuzz.

Me: Well, that's how we got that phrase.

Student: Look, the peach is fuzzy in its butt crack!

Me: That's not a crack. It's more like a... seam.

Student: My dad has fuzz in his butt crack.

Me: I don't think your dad would appreciate me knowing that. It's private.

Student: Well, he's also got a lot down there. (Pointing to crotch, under table.)

Me: Umm...

Student: Yeah, not in the middle, but all around... it. (Moving pointer finger in a circle.)

Me (seriously): Okay, back to the fruit.

Student: My mom does too.

Me (more intently): So--

Student (interrupting): I know because I see it every day. When they take a shower in the morning. It's gross.

Me (louder and firmly): OKAY, NEXT IDIOM. What's "apple of my eye"?

(End scene.)

You know, you just don't want students to think that discussion of that stuff is wrong or bad. However, you also don't want to discuss something that their parents should be discussing with them. (Although we do have students who are really Deaf/HOH and their parents can't discuss anything at all with them because they don't sign, so it's up to us to tell them about puberty, etc.) So it's a fine line.

But that was definitely 511.

I can only imagine what's going to happen if he tries to relate this story to his parents after school. Oh boy.