A headline in the local newspaper:
"Youth Commission Members Are Busy, And Their Plan Is To Get Even Busier."
Oooooooo yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A message T on one of my students, a friendly kid who is deaf and autistic:
"I'm probably not listening to you."
:)
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Ever want to just quit your job?
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a lighter note:
Me (finishing up an explanation, because the student, a little boy, wanted to know): So "boyfriend/girlfriend" is like going to movies and having dinner and stuff... well, I guess you could do that with your friends, too. But it means someone LIKES you likes you, not just likes you as a friend.
Male Student, Aged Six: Ew.
Me: Well, your mom and dad were boyfriend-girlfriend before they got married!
Student: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Don't tell me that! (pauses) Okay, tell me that.
Me: You didn't know that?
Student: Well, I kinda did, since yesterday. They didn't tell me, but I read their minds. And then I threw up a little bit. I really did.
On a lighter note:
Me (finishing up an explanation, because the student, a little boy, wanted to know): So "boyfriend/girlfriend" is like going to movies and having dinner and stuff... well, I guess you could do that with your friends, too. But it means someone LIKES you likes you, not just likes you as a friend.
Male Student, Aged Six: Ew.
Me: Well, your mom and dad were boyfriend-girlfriend before they got married!
Student: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Don't tell me that! (pauses) Okay, tell me that.
Me: You didn't know that?
Student: Well, I kinda did, since yesterday. They didn't tell me, but I read their minds. And then I threw up a little bit. I really did.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Twos
Why is it that bananas and strawberries, on their own, are acceptable, yet if you slice and mix the two together, anarchy ensues?
Monday, April 16, 2007
Doodlepoops
So can you tell that I don't like the Doodlebops? This past weekend, while watching a TiVo'd copy with Colin, I found another reason for my dislike: lack of grammar.
(Scene: Backstage, the Doodlebops and Jazzmin discussed how great it was that Rooney Doodle (a.k.a. "the blue one", "the gay one", "not the breakdancing one, the other one") gave his old ukelele to a fan. Let the agrammaticality begin!)
Deedee: You can always borrow one.
Rooney: From who?
Jazzmin: Myself!
This is supposed to be EDUCATIONAL? That was two errors in two seconds! UGH!
(Scene: Backstage, the Doodlebops and Jazzmin discussed how great it was that Rooney Doodle (a.k.a. "the blue one", "the gay one", "not the breakdancing one, the other one") gave his old ukelele to a fan. Let the agrammaticality begin!)
Deedee: You can always borrow one.
Rooney: From who?
Jazzmin: Myself!
This is supposed to be EDUCATIONAL? That was two errors in two seconds! UGH!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Nah funnee!
On two totally different topics...
Colin decided, two days ago, that he wanted to sit on his toilet for 15 minutes before getting in the tub. Then, yesterday, he decided to sit on the toilet in the afternoon. Of course, he had to strip down to his socks. Then... he actually pooed in the toilet. He was like, "Uh!" and pointed to it like, "Oh, damn, I totally ruined a perfectly good toilet!" I clapped and said, "That's where the poo goes! Give me five!" and he's like, "Noooooo." Eventually, he'll get it.
Hey, anyone scared of BLOOD?!?!? This kid is adorable.
Colin decided, two days ago, that he wanted to sit on his toilet for 15 minutes before getting in the tub. Then, yesterday, he decided to sit on the toilet in the afternoon. Of course, he had to strip down to his socks. Then... he actually pooed in the toilet. He was like, "Uh!" and pointed to it like, "Oh, damn, I totally ruined a perfectly good toilet!" I clapped and said, "That's where the poo goes! Give me five!" and he's like, "Noooooo." Eventually, he'll get it.
Hey, anyone scared of BLOOD?!?!? This kid is adorable.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Some things never change
This really takes me back - hearing a classic. In the classroom next door, I hear the teacher working with the students.
Teacher: When Father came home, what was he going to do?
Students: Kill the pig!
Teacher: Yes, that's right. And what did Fern say?
Students: No, stop!
I'll always remember E.B. White's wonderful "Charlotte's Web" and the beautiful Garth Williams drawings that complemented it. And I love hearing how the story still captivates children today.
Teacher: When Father came home, what was he going to do?
Students: Kill the pig!
Teacher: Yes, that's right. And what did Fern say?
Students: No, stop!
I'll always remember E.B. White's wonderful "Charlotte's Web" and the beautiful Garth Williams drawings that complemented it. And I love hearing how the story still captivates children today.
Nutty Health
Overheard at The Prolific Oven this morning.
(Enter grandparents in their early 60s and their granddaughter, a young teenager.)
Woman, perusing baked goods: Don't they have anything healthy here?
Man: Let's see...
Woman: I don't see anything healthy.
Employee: Can I help you?
Woman: Yes. Two Diet Cokes...
(Enter grandparents in their early 60s and their granddaughter, a young teenager.)
Woman, perusing baked goods: Don't they have anything healthy here?
Man: Let's see...
Woman: I don't see anything healthy.
Employee: Can I help you?
Woman: Yes. Two Diet Cokes...
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Chuckles in (un)expected places
It's funny when little kids point out the peculiarities of English. It's even better when a child who is delayed in expressive and receptive language due to a hearing loss picks up on those items, such as homophones. An example from last week: I was working with a client, who is a preschooler. Names changed to protect the innocent and funny!
Me (showing a wind-up toy): Look!
Malak: Horse!
Me: That's right - a horse and a knight.
Malak: No - horse in the DAY.
Loved it!
Me (showing a wind-up toy): Look!
Malak: Horse!
Me: That's right - a horse and a knight.
Malak: No - horse in the DAY.
Loved it!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Blague!
Just finished watching tonight's episode of "24". Did anyone else notice the joke played on "The Ricker"? Last week, he was listed in the opening credits as "Rick Schroder", but tonight, he was listed as "Ricky Schroder"! Oh, I bet he loved that! Those jokers over there at Fox. Guess it keeps it light over there, huh?
And now, a vignette:
Me: How old do you think I am?
Student #1: 18!
Student #2: 24!
Student #3: 22!
Me: Nope. I'm actually 32.
Student #2: 32? That's practically DEAD!
Precious!
And now, a vignette:
Me: How old do you think I am?
Student #1: 18!
Student #2: 24!
Student #3: 22!
Me: Nope. I'm actually 32.
Student #2: 32? That's practically DEAD!
Precious!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
Have you hugged your child today?
I was sitting with two of my students today, girls aged about 11 years old. One, "Ann", told me that she was going to get her hair cut. So she, "Maria" and I talked about haircuts. "Ann" told me that she could only get a blunt cut because that's all her mom and grandma would allow.
After about five minutes of conversation, she told me that she wanted to get her hair cut because, when she was a little girl, her mom would tell her she was beautiful and hug her.
Her mom no longer hugs her.
She said, "I want my mom to hug me and tell me that she loves me."
I asked her if she had tried. She said, "[My teacher] told me to try to hug my mom. I was scared the first day and then I tried. My mom say, 'Go away, I'm busy' and she pushed me. I wish [my teacher] was my mom. She said she would hug me if I need it. When she hug me, it remind me of how my mom used to hug me."
Her mom also tells her she's fat, and won't let her play with her best friend.
This poor girl. It's not easy being a preteen. It's not easy being deaf/hard-of-hearing - especially when your family won't sign to you, and they yell at you in their first language (which they're sure you understand, but you're just lazy).
All this girl wants to to be hugged and told that she matters.
It's a reminder to us all - don't forget to hug your children and tell them that you love them ... every day.
After about five minutes of conversation, she told me that she wanted to get her hair cut because, when she was a little girl, her mom would tell her she was beautiful and hug her.
Her mom no longer hugs her.
She said, "I want my mom to hug me and tell me that she loves me."
I asked her if she had tried. She said, "[My teacher] told me to try to hug my mom. I was scared the first day and then I tried. My mom say, 'Go away, I'm busy' and she pushed me. I wish [my teacher] was my mom. She said she would hug me if I need it. When she hug me, it remind me of how my mom used to hug me."
Her mom also tells her she's fat, and won't let her play with her best friend.
This poor girl. It's not easy being a preteen. It's not easy being deaf/hard-of-hearing - especially when your family won't sign to you, and they yell at you in their first language (which they're sure you understand, but you're just lazy).
All this girl wants to to be hugged and told that she matters.
It's a reminder to us all - don't forget to hug your children and tell them that you love them ... every day.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Family Planning
Another fun conversation with a student. This eight-year-old girl knows what she wants from life.
Me: So what did you do on vacation after you came back from Idaho?
Student: I played with my kitchen. My sister and I played with it. We got it when I was a baby.
Me: Oh, and you still like it?
Student: Yeah. I never want to give it away. I want to keep it and then my children will have it.
Me: That's a great idea. How many children do you think you'll have?
Student: Three. My boyfriend and I decided three.
Me (surprised): Oh... uh, really?
Student: Yes. A girl and two boys. We planned it.
Me: Really.
Student: Yes. We decided. A girl and two boys, because they can share rooms. But we're going to live in Utah.
Me: Why Utah?
Student: It's better than California. And the houses are two levels.
Me: You're going to have a two-story house?
Student: No, FIVE story.
Remember... this kid is only eight! I wonder if her mom knows about this plan...
It was a fun way to come back from a one-week break. Except for still doing my private practice work, I went to a voice conference given by the entertaining and knowledgeable Dr. Kittie Verdolini. She's an amazing woman! What else... well, I exercised, and I hung out with my babykins. And, of course, I did some retail therapy. It's great to see all of the accessories being pushed by Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, and Gap... and then go to Target and get them for 1/3 of the price. ("But," you say, "They aren't the same quality!" Of course not. But accessories come and go... you just need them to last as long as they're in style. A really great black cashmere sweater they're not!)
And I watched the Oscars last night. I don't know when the last time was that I did that... even last year, it was a sporadic watch. I TiVo'd it and watched it over a bowl of lowfat ice cream (slow-churned, of course!). No surprises, but it was a pleasant time.
Well... back to the grind... time to write some reports!
Me: So what did you do on vacation after you came back from Idaho?
Student: I played with my kitchen. My sister and I played with it. We got it when I was a baby.
Me: Oh, and you still like it?
Student: Yeah. I never want to give it away. I want to keep it and then my children will have it.
Me: That's a great idea. How many children do you think you'll have?
Student: Three. My boyfriend and I decided three.
Me (surprised): Oh... uh, really?
Student: Yes. A girl and two boys. We planned it.
Me: Really.
Student: Yes. We decided. A girl and two boys, because they can share rooms. But we're going to live in Utah.
Me: Why Utah?
Student: It's better than California. And the houses are two levels.
Me: You're going to have a two-story house?
Student: No, FIVE story.
Remember... this kid is only eight! I wonder if her mom knows about this plan...
It was a fun way to come back from a one-week break. Except for still doing my private practice work, I went to a voice conference given by the entertaining and knowledgeable Dr. Kittie Verdolini. She's an amazing woman! What else... well, I exercised, and I hung out with my babykins. And, of course, I did some retail therapy. It's great to see all of the accessories being pushed by Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, and Gap... and then go to Target and get them for 1/3 of the price. ("But," you say, "They aren't the same quality!" Of course not. But accessories come and go... you just need them to last as long as they're in style. A really great black cashmere sweater they're not!)
And I watched the Oscars last night. I don't know when the last time was that I did that... even last year, it was a sporadic watch. I TiVo'd it and watched it over a bowl of lowfat ice cream (slow-churned, of course!). No surprises, but it was a pleasant time.
Well... back to the grind... time to write some reports!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Another one?
So, yeah, I'm starting to think about having another baby. My husband has been thinking about it for several months! What I'm not looking forward to: lack of sleep. I mean, Colin FINALLY started sleeping through the night (or only waking up once) in the last month or so. And he's 20 months old! He's still not really into independent play. But the kid is sooooo freakin' cute. I know I want to have more, and I don't want to wait tooooo long. Hmmm....
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I saw the signs
SO... I threw on my "mom jeans" this morning (just kidding!!!) and took Colin to the library for story time. It said "two to three years old" and so I figured it would be a stretch for him, but who cares, because it's a BEAUTIFUL library in an insanely scenic setting (say that five times fast!), and I wasn't ready to work out at the Y yet.
We walked in and followed the stroller-bearing moms and grandmas. And I ran into... my buddy/former co-worker Rufus! I swear, not even 23 hours earlier, I was talking with two co-workers about "where's Rufus, did he fall off the face of the Earth, why hasn't anyone heard from him..." and there he was with his daughter! Turns out he goes to story time with her every Wednesday.
His daughter and Colin enjoyed chasing each other around after story time, and Rufus and I had a good talk (in SEE). The piece de resistance (sorry for the lack of accent marks) was when we were about to leave and Colin starting signing for a cracker. Rufus understood him! Then I told him we'd go home and have a tortilla, and he signed that as well. Then Rufus signed, "Are you hungry?" and Colin nodded "yes"! Rufus totally flipped! So that was a wonderful compliment - a Deaf person understood Colin's signs, and Colin understood another signer. It was a happy morning for Mama.
We walked in and followed the stroller-bearing moms and grandmas. And I ran into... my buddy/former co-worker Rufus! I swear, not even 23 hours earlier, I was talking with two co-workers about "where's Rufus, did he fall off the face of the Earth, why hasn't anyone heard from him..." and there he was with his daughter! Turns out he goes to story time with her every Wednesday.
His daughter and Colin enjoyed chasing each other around after story time, and Rufus and I had a good talk (in SEE). The piece de resistance (sorry for the lack of accent marks) was when we were about to leave and Colin starting signing for a cracker. Rufus understood him! Then I told him we'd go home and have a tortilla, and he signed that as well. Then Rufus signed, "Are you hungry?" and Colin nodded "yes"! Rufus totally flipped! So that was a wonderful compliment - a Deaf person understood Colin's signs, and Colin understood another signer. It was a happy morning for Mama.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Hot Young Artist
My brother is an artist. He also runs a company, Well Threaded, that matches people to jobs in the fashion industry. Read more about it here: http://www.wellthreaded.com and here: http://www.myspace.com/wellthreaded.
Anyway, some of my students know that he's an artist. One girl just found out. This is what happened:
Student: You are a good artist. Why are you?
Me: Because I'm older and I learned how to draw. Also, my brother is an artist.
Student: He is? How is he?
Me: It's his job. He does art all day and then people give him money.
Student: All day? Outside?
Me: Mostly inside.
Student: Is he sweaty?
I'd have to say... no!
Anyway, some of my students know that he's an artist. One girl just found out. This is what happened:
Student: You are a good artist. Why are you?
Me: Because I'm older and I learned how to draw. Also, my brother is an artist.
Student: He is? How is he?
Me: It's his job. He does art all day and then people give him money.
Student: All day? Outside?
Me: Mostly inside.
Student: Is he sweaty?
I'd have to say... no!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving....
Today is a day filled with in-class T-day celebrations. While doing an observation in a first-grade class (sharing food with their fifth-grade reading buddies), I witness this amusing scene:
Mr. T, the coolest teacher in school: Okay, Fifth-Grade Buddies, come up here and read your papers about Thanksgiving facts.
(One by one, kids read.)
Last kid: Thanksgiving is all about being with friends and family and giving thanks. So thank you, Mr. T, for bringing meaning to my life.
Classroom aide: Hey, wait, that doesn't sound like he wrote that by himself!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Mr. T, the coolest teacher in school: Okay, Fifth-Grade Buddies, come up here and read your papers about Thanksgiving facts.
(One by one, kids read.)
Last kid: Thanksgiving is all about being with friends and family and giving thanks. So thank you, Mr. T, for bringing meaning to my life.
Classroom aide: Hey, wait, that doesn't sound like he wrote that by himself!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
You should've seen what she did to the potatoes!
I was tortured all day today as the smell of turkey and pumpkin pies wafted from the kitchen area into my office at school. A couple of the classes were preparing for a grand meal on Friday. One teacher, Martha, led her class into the kitchen to look at the turkey roasting. Now, mind you, this was the same class in which the boys were re-enacting shooting each other (and me) with arrows while wearing rudimentary construction paper Native American headdresses. Then I hear:
Martha: There's the turkey!
Boy: You shoot it?
Martha: Did I shoot it? No!
Boy: You have gun, you shoot it!
Martha: No, I do NOT have a gun. I got the turkey at Safeway!
Martha: There's the turkey!
Boy: You shoot it?
Martha: Did I shoot it? No!
Boy: You have gun, you shoot it!
Martha: No, I do NOT have a gun. I got the turkey at Safeway!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Next week, Zeppelin?
Colin often walks up to the T.V. or computer and makes his sign for "music". In fact, he loves to watch YouTube videos with me. Through trial and error, I've noticed that he has some likes and dislikes. For example:
Loves:
"Oh Sherrie" by Steve Perry
"Heart and Soul" by Huey Lewis and the News
"Big Time Sensuality" by Bjork
Hates:
"Xanadu" by Olivia Newton-John
At 18 months old, he has not yet developed a palate for cult classics. Perhaps that begins at 19 months.
Loves:
"Oh Sherrie" by Steve Perry
"Heart and Soul" by Huey Lewis and the News
"Big Time Sensuality" by Bjork
Hates:
"Xanadu" by Olivia Newton-John
At 18 months old, he has not yet developed a palate for cult classics. Perhaps that begins at 19 months.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Election Flashback
Now that the 2006 elections are behind us (mostly), I thought I'd pull out my favorite piece of junk mail - er, informative voting mail - that I've ever received. Every time I read it, I giggle. I just remember that none of the other propositions listed were annotated with the same amount of humor and dread as this one.
TURNS DRUG CRIMINALS LOOSE
Proposition 36
The social engineers will not be around when drug addicts break into your home.
I Googled (I know they hate that! Okay, "I used Google to find more information on...") Prop. 36 and found this information:
"The Substance Abuse and Crime Prevention Act, also known as Proposition 36, was passed by 61% of California voters on November 7, 2000. This vote permanently changed state law to allow first- and second-time nonviolent, simple drug possession offenders the opportunity to receive substance abuse treatment instead of incarceration. Proposition 36 went into effect on July 1, 2001, with $120 million for treatment services allocated annually for five years." (From prop36.org)
I can only imagine which political party sent me the "Turns Drug Criminals Loose" ad!
TURNS DRUG CRIMINALS LOOSE
Proposition 36
The social engineers will not be around when drug addicts break into your home.
I Googled (I know they hate that! Okay, "I used Google to find more information on...") Prop. 36 and found this information:
"The Substance Abuse and Crime Prevention Act, also known as Proposition 36, was passed by 61% of California voters on November 7, 2000. This vote permanently changed state law to allow first- and second-time nonviolent, simple drug possession offenders the opportunity to receive substance abuse treatment instead of incarceration. Proposition 36 went into effect on July 1, 2001, with $120 million for treatment services allocated annually for five years." (From prop36.org)
I can only imagine which political party sent me the "Turns Drug Criminals Loose" ad!
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